sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
