Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
