i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
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You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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