I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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