Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize