there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
