Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
