What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
