New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
