There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
