It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
