I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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