Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
