This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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