They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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