Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
