next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize