Banned from zoo.
Again?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
