He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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