Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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