I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
