Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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