I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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