You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
