Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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