he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
