I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
