talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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