We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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