i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
