after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dicks are not precious.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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