do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
