This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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