I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize