i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
