worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
