her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
