I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
