i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got inside last night via doggy door
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
