Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
