Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
