I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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