If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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