I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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