some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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