it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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