Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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