Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
