so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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