Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
