this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
