I am full of burrito and curiosity
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i now understand why vodka
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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