Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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