My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
