sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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