A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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