...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
