apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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