you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
