I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
