we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
