Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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