go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
