Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
