just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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