Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
