Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just want nice things and good sex
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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