i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
